Who wears a wallet chain?!
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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