she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
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