He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
