Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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