what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
