so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Randomize
