He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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