Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
