Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Found the puke drawer
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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