this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
i now understand why vodka
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize