im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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