Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize