she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
