I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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