I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
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