I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Randomize