She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
