he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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