I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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