somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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