Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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