Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
