the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
