Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
