last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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