grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
My breasts were aching with rage.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
