I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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