this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
