i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
