12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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