Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
