big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
