I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Randomize
