last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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