It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
