hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
