a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I just googled if crying burns calories
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Randomize