he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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