We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
