If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
