ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Randomize
