is your mom at the bar?
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
