just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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