# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
