Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
