You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize