I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
