Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
