i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
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