I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
