how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
she told me i tasted like america
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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