But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
ugly people sure do ruin things
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Found your dick twin last night
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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