I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize