i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
