i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
