I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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