Cold hands, warm shart.
remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
