Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
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