I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
I have grass duct taped all over my body
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize