you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you win again, gameday.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
