fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize